Friday, June 13, 2014

Here's the blog of "Bob and Bing on the road again"

The term "blog" is a shortened version of "weblog" as in, you know, a log of events posted on the web. That was before bloggers expanded them to include repositories of photos and videos, reporting, lecturing and preaching (just like I have).

Everyone's favourite Chaplain Spencer Doyle and I just completed an eight day tour of Ontario West (as the Grand Aerie likes to call the Ontario Provincial Aerie's District One). I thought an account of what Aerie 2311 member Jo-Anne Chupa calls "Bob and Bing on the road again" - Spencer and I have travelled to Eagles events for years - would be a good way to show you how modest a "weblog" was originally intended to be. It’s a bit long, but here goes.

Wednesday, June 4.

Spencer and I catch the free shuttle bus to the free ferry to Billy Bishop Airport for our flight to Sault Ste Marie. It's a wonderful alternative to Pearson Airport, to which cab fare for either of us would be half as much again as airfare to the Soo. Flight is excellent, service is amazing as we have come to expect from Porter Airlines.

We're picked up at the airport by incoming Eastern Canada Regional Auxiliary President Tammie Artuso, check in and get briefed on what's been happening in Sault Ste Marie Aerie 3991, Heyden-Goulais River Aerie 4061 and Webbwood Aerie 4269, along with their Auxiliaries while we unpack. Tammie is also a contender for Grand Auxiliary office at the upcoming Grand Convention in Orlando, Florida in July, so we discuss how that's going.

I tell her Pat Gray of Toronto Aerie 2311 and Depew New York Aerie, who is running again for Grand Aerie office, is retiring from his job this week so he'll have more time for the Eagles. He will be attending the New York State Convention as well as Ohio State and Pennsylvania State, all taking place this month. Tammie will be attending the Michigan State Convention (she's a dual member in Negaunee, Michigan Aerie).

I'll also be attending the New York State Convention, as will Lucky Thornton and Malcolm Ross, Pat Gillespie and Jacquie Smith, all from Toronto Aerie 2311. I tell her Pat Gray has asked me to give his nominating speech at the Grand Convention, a distinction usually reserved for past Grand Aerie Presidents, Eagles Hall of Fame members and the like (John Noldan from Seattle, Washington, for example, will be nominated by Mike Lagervall, and he's both).

Getting more mileage from my button maker (Jacquie Smith lost an election using my buttons) I'm preparing 1,000 campaign buttons for Pat Gray for the Conventions. I can't do the same for Tammie since the Grand Auxiliary doesn't allow them.

We then travel to Aerie 3991 where we meet with all the usual suspects, including Tammie's husband "Uncle Ray" Artuso, incoming Provincial Aerie (and Aerie 3991) President. We see, again, genial bar steward (and Provincial Trustee) Ron Faught and his wife Laurie. Curmudgeon and long-serving Aerie Secretary Bob Crowe is there, so we know we can count on yet another lecture on how incompetent the Provincial Officers are (which we get). So are the regulars - Trapper, Wally, Ernie and all the Auxiliary members hard at work on the Wednesday Night Aerie Dinner.

Thursday, June 5.

We're in a nonsmoking hotel, so come morning we're at our usual spot - the tiny designated smoking area outside the hotel entrance. Our original schedule says we have the day free to visit the Bushplane Museum (the Soo's top-rated attraction which I hear is fantastic). Spencer says the day is so nice we should visit the city's boardwalk and tour the locks first, since we have so much time before dropping into the Heyden-Goulais River Aerie 4061 for the evening.

Instead along comes John Noldan, Grand Aerie Outside Guard, who has arrived early for his visit as Grand Aerie representative for the Provincial Convention. He was out for a morning walk. I ask him why we get the Grand Aerie officer from furthest away (Seattle, Washington). He tells us he requested Ontario as his first official visit. We're flattered. We tell him our plans and he says he has a rental car, why don't we go to Heyden right now, so we do. Heyden doesn't get many Grand Aerie visitors or Provincial officers either, for that matter.

We have a great visit with several Heyden Aerie and Auxiliary members and one with Dave from the RV dealership that surrounds much of the Aerie. Dave tells us he's very supportive of the Eagles here for the great work it does serving a local community that doesn't have many alternatives.

Through most of this Spencer is regaling the ladies at work in the kitchen with his observations of how wonderful they are for all they do. The bar steward tells Spencer the kitchen isn't licensed for alcohol consumption, but Spencer stays so long in the kitchen the steward hands him a beer in a brown paper bag. "Just like the boys under the train bridge, Spencer" I tell him.

After our visit we return to the Soo, for the Provincial Convention "meet and greet" event at Aerie 3991. I observe that meeting and greeting people we've both known for decades seems a bit over the top, but it goes well.

After such a long day we retire to the hotel early, along with Provincial President Bob Williams and Aerie Secretary Jim Tolley from London Aerie 4060, who have driven to the Soo through Michigan all day; John Noldan and the Artusos; and Auxiliary Provincial officer Marion Waters also from London 4060, where she transferred from Sarnia Aerie when it surrendered its charter last year.

Also with us are our Eagles travel buddies since the early 1980s, Rose Carry and Lucky Thornton, both formerly of Toronto Auxiliary 2311 before its charter was surrendered. Both now in their eighties, these dedicated Eagles are still trembling from driving all the way here from Ajax, where Lucky drove to pick up Rose before heading north.

So much for our scheduled early night. John Noldan holds court as we gather nearly every table in the hotel lounge together to talk Eagles with our brothers and sisters. The bar graciously agrees to keep the bar open 2 1/2 hours longer than they usually do on a Thursday.

Since Jim Tolley is the only person for a thousand miles who smokes more than I do, we have lots of opportunity to chat in the designated smoking area. We discuss London 4060's Peter Colgate's plans to run against me for Provincial Aerie Vice President.

I say Peter has a shot, since he's a Past President of the Sault, a long-serving Provincial officer and now a London 4060 member, so he should carry the 4060 aerie vote credentials Jim would have given to the Provincial Secretary.

Jim, who is also running for Provincial office for the first time, looks nervously at Provincial President Bob Williams and says "you never told me we had to submit a signed letter from the Aerie for the vote." Jim says since he's Aerie Secretary he can draft and sign a letter right here in the hotel's business centre. I tell him that would be fine if he's brought the Aerie seal with him. I love it when a plan comes together.

Friday, June 6.

Off to breakfast and Spencer says he feels like we’ve already been here a month. I tell him at least the Convention is about to begin.

The restaurant is filled with Eagles. You can tell that because all the real cream is gone and there’s only the two percent milk left. The hotel learns: for the rest of the Convention there’s only cream. Our convoy heads off to the aerie for 9:00 am registration and the opening ceremony. I do the Secretary’s part in the ceremony (roll call) and they finally, grudgingly let me do the Invocation. I am, after all, only the official Provincial Chaplain instead of the “real” Chaplain, Spencer.

Malcolm Ross arrives early from Toronto 2311. I tell him his significant other Pat Gillespie was thrilled to tell me in Toronto they have a nonsmoking room for the New York State Convention, while since I booked early I have a smoking room. “You get Malcolm for the weekend”, she tells me gleefully.

I tell Malcolm if I win my election, fine, but if I lose here he can stand outside to smoke in New York.

At the first Convention session a block away at a nearby church, I give my report as Provincial Membership Chairman. I tell them this is my fourth term as Membership Chairman and we’ve lost four Local Aeries in four years. Top of my bucket list is to serve as Membership Chairman in a year when we don’t lose an entire Aerie.

We get the usual raft of letters asking for support by various candidates for Grand Aerie office at the Convention. I say we support so many people every year we end up supporting candidates who run against each other. Since Pat Gray is one of our own, I move instead that we support only Pat Gray. People start talking about what a great guy this one is, or that one is. I say that while not everyone in this room knows every Grand Aerie officer, it’s likely every Grand Aerie candidate is known by someone in this room. Things look bad for the motion.

Then John Noldan rises in support of my motion. When he ran against Pat, we had supported both of them. Pat was defeated last year by Dave Smith from British Columbia, and we had supported both of them. He says my motion makes sense and it passes. Whew.

Lunch again at the Aerie, then back for the afternoon session, including the candidates’ interviews by the Nominations Committee. I make a big pitch for how great the Grand Aerie’s new member discount partner program is, including the fantastic discount offered by Vonage. John Noldan punctures that balloon by telling us Vonage has pulled out of the deal. We return to the aerie for dinner and meeting the folks at the Soo once again, and again leave early.

Naturally, the hotel lounge remembers all of us and we remember them. Once again, we circle all the tables for a late-night Eagles session.

Saturday, June 7.

I’m up early working on the blog and other Eagles business. Spencer drags himself out of bed and asks if we’ve been here for a month yet. I cheerfully tell him that by the end of the day we’ll have been here for half our visit.

In the Saturday sessions we have a Bylaw amendment that changes the term Zone for District in our Bylaws at the request of our perennial opponent Bob Crowe, Aerie Secretary at 3991 (who never attends our meetings). It matters to Bob, I say, so we should support it. John Noldan says the Grand Aerie doesn’t care what we call them. It looks like, for that reason, people are about to drop the amendment.

I say since the Grand Aerie doesn’t care, they also don’t mind. Since Bob Crowe wants it, why not? I also mention that I wanted it passed simply because I have another, unrelated amendment to correct grammatical errors in the current Bylaw. Fortunately, the amendment passes, as does my amendment.

I win the election, becoming Vice President and President-Elect; and the Provincial Aerie is spared my service as Chaplain. Spencer has returned to the position most people never thought he had left. Graciously, Peter Colgate agrees to serve again as Conductor. I share with most other officers the arthritic knees that make serving as Conductor too much walking around, so we’re all relieved.

The highlight of the banquet is the presentation of a huge birthday cake for Spencer’s 70th birthday. Since his birthday almost always falls within the dates of the Convention, this is becoming an annual event. Peter Colgate’s birthday is June 16th. If he’d been born a week earlier, he would have had all the fuss every year, and might have been elected. It’s always these little things.

We again leave early. Did I mention you pass the entrance to the hotel lounge when you walk through the lobby? Once again we take every table. When the bar closes, several people retire to our room, to rehash. Malcolm is the last to leave, at 4:00 am.

Sunday, June 8. 

OK, this is seriously our day off: nothing but laundry. Tammie calls and invites us to a barbecue at their home. We bring our laundry. Who knew we had to travel this far north for both of us to get sunburns, talking Eagles with Tammie and Ray? Well, with Ray. Tammie had laundry.

Monday, June 9.

No tour of the Bushplane Museum today either. Tammie again picks us up for another visit to the Aerie for the Aerie meeting; after which the Heyden Auxiliary uses 3991’s facilities for their installation of officers. We’ve already met several of the ladies, of course. They especially remember Spencer.

To our surprise, the officers at 3991 invite Spencer and me to become dual members of Aerie 3991. We’ve known most of them longer than most Toronto Aerie 2311 members have been Eagles. Trustee Jim Doyle gives the interviewing committee report and we’re balloted successfully. Spencer immediately rises, confirms that we’re now members of Aerie 3991, and immediately launches into a lengthy complaint about an issue between “his” aerie and its relationship with the auxiliary. The officers kindly suggest they’ll speak to him after the meeting. It’s a great meeting. I had no idea Aerie 3991 had as much money as they do. Toronto 2311 members would drool.

After the Heyden Auxiliary installation (where Spencer has a great time renewing his acquaintance with the ladies from Heyden’s kitchen) we retire again to the hotel. Since everyone else has left, we only have one drink (OK, two) in the lounge before retiring. We have an early start in the morning.

Tuesday, June 10.

We’re up early because Webbwood Aerie 4269, 3 ½ hours away, has their aerie and auxiliary meetings today. Jim Doyle lives in the Soo but is serving as Aerie 4269 President to help them through a rough patch. Jim is driving us, and Uncle Ray is coming with us.

We head on up to the highway, where we pass the Bushplane Heritage Museum. At least I can now say I’ve seen it.

It’s a long drive, though we stop for breakfast along the way. Jim has a guitar collection he talks about, and Ray talks about the band he was in 30 years ago, which has gotten back together. Spencer mentions how much he dislikes country music, whereupon the three of us immediately launch into a rousing rendition or “Where Am I Gonna Live When I Get Home?” The original artist, Billy Ray Cyrus, is an Eagles member, after all. Time flies while we entertain Spencer with the best country music has to offer. Spencer says he’ll be walking back to the Soo.

We have a great time in Webbwood. At the meeting they’re a bit rusty with the Ritual, so we all sit in. Jim Doyle is President anyway. Ray sits as Junior Past President, I’m Conductor and Spencer, of course, is Chaplain. The meeting goes very well, with lots of positive news on the aerie’s turnaround.

We retire to one of the two remaining Aerie licensed, smoking patios afterward, to sit with a full house of aerie and auxiliary members. It’s a beautiful day and we all give speeches. Jim introduces us – the Provincial President, President-Elect and Chaplain. Ray gives a great speech on how they should treat new members so they will feel included and involved right after their initiation. I tell them if Toronto 2311 loses a member we can always get another one from our five million population. With their small town (population 600) they can’t afford that. They need to keep all the members they have and bring back the ones they’ve lost, and they all need to get along with their brothers and sisters, almost all of whom have home addresses with the same postal code.

Spencer advises them he is responsible for their morals, and to see that they keep their obligation as Eagles to love one another. He launches into a joke about his days in Montreal, telling the whole thing in French. He likes to live in the moment.

We visit a fish and chip stand for dinner, so good Spencer and I remember it from our visit three years ago. We head off for the long drive back, when every time somebody says a word that’s in the title of a country song, our new trio bursts into song again. The things we do to entertain Spencer.

We get back to the Soo and Jim Doyle invites us to his home, with his wife Betty (Provincial Chaplain). Tammie is there to meet us to drive Ray home. Well into the evening, as we’re all bushed from the day, Wally calls from the Aerie. They’re having karaoke and wanted Spencer and me to come down. We decline. Tomorrow we fly back to Toronto and we haven’t packed yet.

Wednesday, June 11.

Tammie picks up at noon to drive us to the airport, where we’ll have lots of time to get our 1:45 flight. We say our goodbyes and go into the airport. We’re advised due to bad weather in Toronto our plane is still there, the flight has been cancelled and we’re on the 5:40 p.m. flight. Jim Doyle had offered to drive us to the airport but I said Tammie and Ray would do that. So I call Jim and tell him our pathetic plight (Tammie had gone to work, Ray was scheduled for a shift on the bar at the aerie).

While waiting for Jim I call Toronto 2311, to tell the bar steward I wouldn’t be making the aerie meeting tonight. I tell Keith about our flight delay so he says “so you’re calling to ask me if I’ll keep the bar open until 2:00 a.m.?” I say no, just tell them I won’t be at the meeting.

Having already repeatedly said our goodbyes to the folks in the Soo, we arrive at the aerie again. The auxiliary offers us complementary tickets for the Wednesday dinner (this is our second one). We spend the afternoon, have dinner and Jim drives us back to the airport. The minute he drives off, Spencer says he’s left his jacket in Jim’s car – with his boarding pass in it. (Oh why, Lord?)

The Porter attendant gives us another boarding pass and we make it through security (because this flight is also late). We arrive in Toronto and the pilot tells us again due to bad weather we’ll be circling the airport until he gets permission to land. The one-hour flight turns out to be two.

But, at long last, we’re home.

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